Top Five Cheesiest: Pick-Up Lines

Valentine’s day is approaching, and that means many are on the hunt to find a date for this romantic holiday. The tradition of courtship has evolved from greetings of compliments and months of getting to know one another, to the common cheesy pick up line of today. Cheesy pickup lines typically consist of a pun-related compliment and a gentle yet confident tone, in order to hopefully persuade an air of sympathetic reciprocation from the recipient of these comic one-liners. Feb. 13, colloquially deemed by the popular sitcom How I Met Your Mother as “desperation day,” is a popular date for delivering said pickup lines.
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple
Rating: 2.5 hearts
This is a moderate line. It is very cheesy, as expected, and it comes with the ever so cliche pun. In this case, the pun gave it a boost in rating, as “fine” is not an expected compliment these days. Common flattering adjectives often include “pretty”, “smart”, and “hot.” “Fine” harkens back images of a noir-age romance, when the term “dame” was still in use. This does not, however, save the line, as it is already so overused.
Do you wanna avo-cuddle?
Rating: 4 hearts
Avocado toast, and avocado products, were all the rage in 2016. Therefore, for anyone involved in this health craze, this is the perfect pick-up line. It is funny without being crude, and references something they have a vested interest in. Cuddling is also positive for all parties involved: studies show that hugs release oxytocin that inhibit cortisol levels, the main hormone involved in the creation of stress. Dopamine, a neurotransmitter, is also released via skin-to-skin contact, which causes increased levels of happiness.
Baby, if I was a stoplight I would turn red every time I saw you so I could stare a little longer.
Rating: 4.5
This is a sweet line, the kind that people scorn and screw up their face in response to in favor of cruder lines, or because they are so overwhelmed by the faux charm. For an unsuspecting girl, this may be a plus. It differs from the traditional “clever” pun, and it comes off as an attempt to woo, rather than an attempt to seduce.
I ran into that wall over there because of your beauty. I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
Rating: 3
Another sweet, complex line, but the kind of complex that might work against it. If the subject of affection questions why they did not see anyone run into a wall, or there are no walls present, it ruins the purpose of the pick-up line. Insurance and accidents also do not generate the most pleasant of mental images. Overall, use the line, but at a risk.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I need to walk by again?
Rating: 2
Like “fine-apple,” this is an overused line, to the point that it is the kind of line people bring up to laugh at, the kind characterized by the “frat boy” image. It might work for someone who has a sense of humor, who finds these half-hearted attempts amusing. For others, it might not garner more than a quick glance, eye roll, and a walk away.