A LDS church in Salt Lake City, Oregon. Photo available via Creative Commons CC BY-SA 3.0 (No changes made)
Hulu Renews the Mormon Wives for Season Two
Season two of the hit reality television show, “Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” recently hit Hulu, and it has taken the internet by storm. From cheating rumors to pregnancy scandals, “Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” has all the drama in a reality show one could want. This show follows eight women from Utah and all the thrilling adventures they face as modern Mormon women.
The first personality the viewers meet in the pilot is Taylor Franke Paul. She shares her experiences as a member of the LDS (Latter Day Saints) church, as well as her life as a Mormon influencer. Paul is also the creator of “MomTok,”which is the group’s social media personality. “MomTok” is introduced as a way for the women to share their lives on social media, while also bringing in a modern wave of feminism into the Mormon religion. However, as the show goes on, the dramatics and basis of reality television overtake this ideology.
“We were raised to be these housewives for the men, serving their every desire,” Taylor Franke Paul said in the pilot episode.
Toxicity in Mormon Marriages
There are many underlying sexist tones throughout the show that go unnoticed by much of the audience. For example, in one episode, the women go to Las Vegas, and one of the women, Jessi, surprises the group with tickets to a Chippendale dance show. Many of the women show discomfort toward this, mainly Jen. Later in the episode, Jen shares with her husband and takes accountability regarding the risque dance show. Her husband, Zac, blows up at her and suggests divorce, saying that she has no morals or values.
However, the whole time the women are at the show, Zac gambles the money that Jen gave him. They stay together, but their relationship is rocky because of this. Later on, Jen still says that she is happy being his wife. However, by saying this, she unknowingly proves to the audience that even when a husband takes advantage and hurts a wife, the wife should stay loyal to her vows. While it is likely that Jen has some internalized misogyny, she is still promoting that it is okay to stay with a man who shows so little respect towards their marriage.
One byproduct of internalized misogyny is the inclination for women to prioritize making men comfortable. Even when he messes up, he shields himself from his guilt or shame. This is usually meant as an act of kindness or support, but what it ends up accomplishing is keeping men from experiencing the natural consequences of their actions. Thus keeping them from growth,
Celeste Davis said, from Matriarchal Blessing.
Division, Double Standards, and the Breakdown of Sisterhood in Mormon Culture
Another important point is that when Jen has a baby blessing for her newborn, she only invites half the women in the group. She invites the proclaimed saints of the group, excluding the sinners. The woman divide themselves as saints and sinners, doing so off the basis of their religious devoutness. These groups are based on how closely they follow the rules and teachings in the church. Splitting the group up creates more unnecessary drama and competition, which is extremely contradictory to the point of the show. While half the women attended the baby blessing, Jen mentions how only men can participate in the blessing ceremony, as only a man can partake in the priesthood.
“How the women in ‘The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives’ value men’s reputations over women’s reputations. By valuing men’s reputations over their own, women keep men from experiencing the natural consequences of their actions,” Celeste Davis said, from Matriarchal Blessing.
Friendship vs Marriage in the Temple
Besides the women’s behavior towards their husbands, their behavior towards each other is also very telling about their true values. Since it is reality TV, it is likely that some of the drama and dialogue is fabricated for views and attention. But, the way these women speak about each other is something that one cannot fake. They claim that their friend group is a safe space for them to talk about their problems with each other, whether it be about kids, marriage, or religion. However, most of these group discussions somehow spiral into an argument.
A lot of the women on this show have a mean girl type of personality, but they are also careful about what they say to whom. They mostly speak about backstabbing, gossiping and lying. While this is entertaining to watch, it clearly opposes their “MomTok” ideology. Pitting these women against each other is only setting them backwards, especially in terms of social structure in the church.
“‘Mormon Wives’ emphasizes how the women push back against patriarchal structures. They are comfortable talking about sex. They are not ashamed to discuss divorce; one woman even throws a divorce party for herself. But one can also watch misogyny in action when one woman who acts a certain way in front of her friends morphs into a hollow version of herself in front of her husband,
David Oliver said in USA Today.
Broken Stereotypes in the LDS Community
While the show promotes toxicity, some of these women do quite the job pf breaking staunch stereotypes in the church. For example, Mayci Neeley who is a fan favorite and recurring face on the show. Neeley opened up this season about her struggles with becoming a mother. She shares about how she found out she became pregnant at 19 and had to leave school. Unfortunately, after a fight with her boyfriend at the time, he was in a car accident and sadly passed away.
Neeley shared how hard it was to come to terms with the fact that her son would not have a father, and how having her son, Hudson, saved her life. She has since gotten married and has shared her struggle with fertility, as well as her decision to have children via IVF (in vitro fertilization). Neeley being so open with these struggles helps to humanize her to the viewers of “Mormon Wives,” as well as bring attention to women’s issues surrounding pregnancy in the church.
Alongside being an advocate for women struggling with fertility, she is also the chief executive officer of a prenatal vitamin company, “Baby Mama.” Neeley has also recently announced her success in writing, specifically her book deal. Her business and entrepreneurship works to challenge old customs within the church, specifically the belief that men should be the sole breadwinner in the home and women should stay home with their children.
